#6 out of 30

Number 6 out of 30: What is the hardest thing you have ever experienced?

Is it just me or are these questions getting harder? I mean how do you pick the one thing that was the absolute hardest thing you've ever gone through? Life is full of rough patches, that's what makes us who we are. It's how we learn and grow.
I could tell you about High School. Enough said there. ;p I could tell you about how I assumed my life would play out exactly like my moms and so when I seriously dated a returned missionary my freshman year of college, I was sure I'd marry him. We had even talked about it, and browsed over rings online for one of our dates. We even decided to pray about it, and while I was feeling good about everything, he didn't get the same answer. It really shook me up, and frustrated me with trying to understand how Heavenly Father could give us different answers for the same question. (Plus it kind of hurt my feelings thinking the answers were that way because he was good enough for me but I wasn't for him or something? Plus then he tried to stay friends and all that fun sticky situation stuff.) I could tell you about failing my entire freshman year of college and losing my scholarship and wasting the money my parents and grandparents put toward helping me stay for the second semester. I felt like such a failure in life for not being in school like every other person my age when fall semester came around again. I could tell you about choosing to be around people who weren't good influences and getting into really painful situations because of that. 
Like I said, there are lots of hard things that we go through, but I think the important part of this question is the invisible follow up: And then what?  All those things I could talk about have taught me a little more about me. One of my favorite 'quotes' (that I'm not going to directly quote because I have no idea where it's originally from or how exactly it's worded) is that we're not here on earth to create who we are, but to remember who we are.  I think that going through those times that really stretch us thin and tear down what we think we know about ourselves, are the very same things that build up our memory of who we were before we came.  I learned from high school that the little things in the gospel are the big things, and that families are there to teach us and try to help us avoid making mistakes. I learned from my non-existent-freshman-year-engagement that agency is a big part of getting answers to prayers, that sometimes we get answers to give us bigger answers, (for example after I dated that young man I realized more of what I wanted in who I would marry and I finally got that I didn't have to settle. And lookie here! A yearish later I found Matt, and this time our answers matched! ;) ) and that you can ask Heavenly Father to change someone else but He won't... He can't. (There's that agency thing again.) The only person you can ask Him to change is yourself, and if you can humble yourself then He can help you learn and grow in amazing ways. From failing that first year of college I learned that I'm not stupid, I just have a tendency to give up when things get overwhelming. I learned how to apply myself because of my consequence of choosing to fail- working that whole summer and fall semester at Bryce Canyon- and I learned that I actually enjoy being in school. I enjoy proving to myself that I can do it, and I enjoy learning new things.  When I allowed myself to be around harmful relationships, I learned that forgiveness is hard, and sometimes you can't forgive others by yourself. I learned even more about the atonement (both from repenting of stupid decisions and from finally realizing that I could lean on the Savior and borrow his forgiveness for others until I could learn to forgive them.) I also learned that who you choose to surround yourself with is who you'll ultimately learn to act like. When I found friends and people to associate with who respected themselves I learned to respect myself. :) 
And now I'm going through this new experience in being pregnant and preparing to become a mother, and it's not always easy. Physically it's difficult and uncomfortable, and mentally it's daunting. Because I've gone through all the other 'hard times', though, I'm not worried about if I'll make it through this new chapter full of learning curves. I've seen the Savior strengthen me in times before when I had no idea what I was doing or how I was going to get to the next stage of my life, and I know without any doubt that he can do that again. :) 
(...aaand stepping off my soap box.)