Thy will be done

I have felt like I needed to be willing to be more open about my experiences lately. I’ve ignored that for a while- because I already posted once about my struggle with anxiety, and I felt like there’s nothing I can say that someone else hasn’t already said more eloquently. But the feelings persisted. When I first found out about our miscarriage I had the same thoughts and feelings, “You need to be willing to share this”. I hesitated again for a few reasons; one being that I didn’t think I could organize my jumbled thoughts and feelings into something that would make sense or even be helpful. The second reason I’ve struggled with wanting to post is that the last thing I want to do is make it seem like I am using my pain for likes or comments, or pity. That is not my intention in the least. The evening after that first awful doctor’s appointment, I went home and did so much googling. I wanted to understand why this was happening. I came across a woman’s blog about her experience with miscarriage due to blighted ovum, and links to support pages and resources. It was such a tender mercy to have those life lines in the middle of the worst of it. My intentions in writing this post is to hopefully reach someone else who needs those lifelines, and to share the beautiful moments I’ve experienced as I’ve learned about the peace that only Christ can give despite any trial or circumstance we are in.

                “But loss isn’t something the young can accept with ease. To fight against it was healthy; to fight was life.”                    

-Susan Evans McCloud, For Love of Ivy

July 5th was a Sunday. I was a few days late- which never happens- so I took one of the cheap pregnancy tests that I had at home, not really expecting a positive, but taking it so I could tell my brain to stop getting my hopes up for the millionth time. Ten minutes later I went back to look, and saw two little pink lines staring up at me. We had been trying for a year and a half, and I truly didn’t know if I believed it. I guess I was starting to think it would never happen for us again, but there it was. Two little lines telling me Jaden would get a sibling, that I would become a mother for the second time, and telling Matt that there would be a happy- albeit stressful- arrival right in the middle of his most intense semester of graduate school. He wasn’t upset, but he wasn’t thrilled either. He was amazing to tell me frequently that even though he wasn’t squealing about it yet, he wanted me to be happy and excited. We’ve waited for this for a long time. 

Weeks came and went, and I felt too good to be pregnant. I wasn’t sick- at all- and the only complaint I had was that I was falling asleep during Jaden’s afternoon nap rather than getting my to-do list done. I worried that I wasn’t feeling sick enough, but tried to brush those thoughts off. 

One day I started spotting, and I was so scared. I asked Matt to give me a blessing, and then tried my best to shove my fears aside. July 21st I went to the doctor for something unrelated, but in the process of visiting about things they decided to try doing an ultrasound just to make sure things were ok since I had been spotting a week before. The midwife took me back, and Jaden climbed all over my head and spit in my hair and made messes while she looked at the screen with a concerned look and kept telling me not to worry yet, she might just be bad at this particular ultrasound machine. She called and got me an appointment right away in their American Fork office, and I drove away praying my heart out. Please let them find this baby. Please let everything be ok.

The ultrasound tech couldn’t find anything either, and the doctor came in to tell me he was 90% sure this was a miscarriage. A blighted ovum. There is no fetal pole in there, and so your options are to wait for your body to miscarry, take some medicine to help it start miscarrying, or schedule a d&c. He wanted to wait and do another ultrasound the following week in case I had my dates off and just wasn’t as far along as I thought. At 6 weeks you should see more than what we did. 

So I drove home, crying. Jaden copied me in the back seat the entire 20 minutes home, which made me laugh, but mostly I just cried. And prayed.

This is when I turned to research to try and understand what was happening. The doctor had used the term ‘blighted ovum’ and said that basically my body thought I was pregnant, and was growing the gestational and yolk sac, but there was no baby to grow. It was a confusing feeling wondering why this hurt so much if there had never been a baby to begin with; but I hadn’t known that for 6 weeks. I had been dreaming of another tiny piece of Matt and myself. I’d been dreaming of my first baby becoming a big brother and of nights spent in a rocking chair holding my second child. So maybe physically there was no baby, but there was a baby for me emotionally and mentally. It was every bit the same as mourning if there had been a baby and it had died. Pain doesn’t follow logic. 

I spent the next 5 days in a strange limbo of grief and hope, and when the next ultrasound showed growth but no definite fetal pole they ordered a quantitative HCG blood test. I did one blood draw that day and had another 48 hours of limbo to go back to. The numbers rose, but didn’t double, and as they rose over those two days so did my symptoms. I felt sick. I was so grateful to feel sick. And then what was a good sign became a cruel reminder, as I waited another week before I could get into an appointment with my previous OB in Cedar for a d&c consult. We opted to do a d&c partially for my emotional sanity- I didn’t think I could handle waiting to miscarry on my own and feel pregnant for weeks before that happened- and partially because with a blighted ovum there can be increased risk for hemorrhaging. I didn’t want to be home alone with Jaden if anything happened. 

Matt was in the thick of his first semester’s finals, and if I couldn’t have Matt, I wanted my mom. I was also so worried about Jaden- I hadn’t been very attentive for that week, and I worried about him feeling neglected. I wanted to be sure that he would be surrounded by familiar people, I wanted to be sure that he would feel loved and played with. I knew I probably wouldn’t be running for world’s greatest mom in the days before and following the surgery. I have been so grateful for my family’s willingness to be inconvenienced, for longer than we all expected, and to take such wonderful care of my Jaden boy. The surgery went well, the recovery was more painful and longer than I anticipated, but hasn’t had any complications either. Things are going to be ok. 

                                “...Eyes that had been filled with ever- flowing tears dried. The lips that had whispered prayers of distress and grief now filled the air with wondrous praise, for Jesus the Christ, the Son of the living God, stood before them as the  firstfruits of the Resurrection, the proof that death is merely the beginning of a new and wondrous existence.” 

–Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin, Sunday Will Come, October 2006 General Conference

Through this I have prayed constantly for a miracle. I begged Heavenly Father if there was any way at all for this baby to fit into his plan for our little family, to please save it and make it grow. Please let it show up in the next ultrasound or the next test. Please give me my baby. I will be honest and admit that when those things didn’t happen I have felt moments of anger, and felt my faith waiver a little. I knew God has the ability to make that happen, so why didn’t He? What I have come to realize is that He did send me miracles. He sent me loving ward members who took Jaden for me so I could go to my consecutive appointments without him climbing all over me. God sent me beautiful friends who brought sweet reminders of God’s love- one ward friend brought me a beautiful necklace with perfect little Forget Me Not flowers, and a print out of President Uchtdorf’s talk Forget Me Not. Another friend took me on a girl’s day, and gifted me a bracelet with the words, “Everything happens for a reason”. I’ve had sweet women who have gone through the same thing take me under their wing and tell me honestly what to expect, and helped me navigate the waves of emotion. I had friends offer to drive for hours to be with me for appointments if Matt couldn’t make it. Maybe the most touching miracle of all was being able to physically feel the prayers of so many. I have been so humbled at the responses from those who have found out about our loss. I suppose grief always has a way of binding people, but it has touched my heart to feel so much love, and to literally feel so many prayers. One of Matt’s classmates emailed him and told Matt that he and his wife were praying for us. They aren’t LDS (which of course doesn’t matter, I don’t know why it surprised me that they would still pray for us. I guess I have some open heartedness to work on. ;) ) and they don’t really even know me, but I can guarantee they are part of the reason I’ve had so much peace. I have felt strengthened in times I was expecting to crumble, and I attribute that 100% to the power of prayers from countless friends and family members. I prayed for a miracle and I got one. Perhaps not the one I was begging for, but one just as tender. I have seen more love, felt more compassion, and been truly humbled through this experience. That’s obviously not to say that I’m handling this perfectly. I’ve had my share of anger. I’ve done plenty of shower crying, and asking “why me?” But I am learning, and I am growing.

"Grief is not a disorder a disease or a sign of weakness. It is an emotional, physical and spiritual necessity; the price you pay for love. The only cure for grief is to grieve."

Like I mentioned before, my purpose in writing and posting this was to hopefully be able to provide resources and help to someone else who goes through this. I wanted to list a few of the blog posts that helped me, and some talks/scriptures that gave me hope. I also want to put it out there that I am more than willing to talk to anyone who needs to talk to someone who understands. I don't have all the answers, I'm still figuring it all out myself. But there is strength in being understood and mourning together. If you have questions or want to just talk, I am here. :)
My email is shannon.coffin22@yahoo.com

15 Lessons Learned From Miscarriage - Chelsea Lee Smith from Moments A Day 

"There's no baby in there", Experiencing a Blighted Ovum: Pregnancy and Infant loss Awareness - Savy Life

Sunday Will Come - Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin; October, 2006 General Conference

Accepting The Lord's Will and Timing - Elder David A. Bednar; August, 2016 Ensign

Angel Mamas via Blighted Ovum Facebook Group

#becauseHElives

I am just about as far from perfect as I can imagine.

I've made goals to grow in my testimony, to become better at reading scriptures or family prayer. I've wanted to start the next day with more patience with my 2 year old, and myself. I want to be the mom who teaches her babies about the gospel and God's love through everything I do. 

And yet, I keep falling short. 

I get caught up in Netflix or a book; I'll spend way too much time on social media and forget to turn off the screens for my son. I'll fall into bed knowing I should pray, but feeling so exhausted and worn down from the day that it just seems like too much. (Silly, isn't it? Since that's exactly when we need to pray most.)

The past several days there have been a handful of videos circulating on my Facebook feed. Some are simply songs, some are children's examples, and some are a testimony of Christ meant specifically for Easter. 

They have each touched my heart as I've listened to them, and felt the words resonate in my soul. 

One in particular has caught my attention, because it is so resolute in testifying of our Savior's unwavering love for each of us.
I know that's true. I know that is the reason we can make it through hard times, and that we can always have hope.

"I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me."

What #Easter is really about.
Posted by LDS Youth on Sunday, March 20, 2016

Maybe Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more.

I'm the kind of person who lives for snuggling up under the beautiful strands of Christmas lights with my cup of hot cocoa while I listen to Bing Crosby's Christmas Pandora station.  I'm the girl who swoons over the lights at Temple Square no matter how many times I see them. (Let's be honest. I swoon over Christmas lights in general.) Christmas trees lit up make me teary. Pine scented candles make me happy. I love wearing the rich-colored winter sweaters and dressing up for Christmas parties. If I'm in the car driving- I'm singing Christmas carols.  I. Love. Christmas.

Matt and I are in a Young Married Student ward, and we have the most beautiful and sweet Relief Society president in our ward. She put together a 'Silent Christmas' lesson today- and I need to get my hands on the video she used. It was uplifting, and emotional, and beautiful and all things Christmas. Today I remembered exactly why I love Christmas.  Last year I remember thinking that I understood Christmas a little bit better since I was in the same state that Mary was... very pregnant, and feeling all those emotions and thoughts that go along with that. I guess I understood that aspect of the story of Christ's birth better then, but this year I have a new level of empathy. Of course I can't know completely how Heavenly Father felt sending Jesus to earth to make the significant sacrifices that he did. To be honest- I don't think I want to know exactly how that felt. This year I do know what a parent's love feels like. Seeing your child struggle and fail to learn something new, only to suddenly get it because of how many times they've tried is one of the most happy feelings I've had. Wanting to give your child every possible opportunity to become a strong and wonderful person is a feeling I know now. I get it.
I get why Heavenly Father has made fall leaves, or why there are so many incredible places on Earth. I get why there are sunrises, and clouds, and baby giggles, and the atonement.
Heavenly Father loves us more than we can fully comprehend. He is literally our Father, and he wants to give us all of these things that make us happy.  He wants to give us opportunities to really get those gentle reminders that nudge us back into line. Today was my little reminder. 

It's not that I haven't always know what Christmas is. My home, as a child, was filled with reading Luke 2, and looking at all of my mom's Christmas decorations that always included a nativity or two. As the years go by though, I think it's easy to get distracted by everything else that goes on during the Holidays.  Over the past week I've been discouraged with feeling like a "Scrooge". I haven't been as excited for Christmas this year, and I couldn't figure out why. (Silly me.)  President David O. McKay said "True happiness comes only by making others happy--the practical application of the Savior's doctrine of losing one's life to gain it. In short, the Christmas spirit is the Christ spirit, that makes our hearts glow in brotherly love and friendship and prompts us to kind deeds of service."  I felt so overwhelmed with love and gratitude as I listened to Christmas hymns and read words from our Prophets about what Christmas is all about.
For my friends and family who know me- this is no surprise- but I'm a bit of a dramatic. So of course

when I paused to think, "how do I feel toward my Savior" words from Mr. Kruger's Christmas came to mind: " I love you. You're my closest, my finest friend. And that means that I can hold my head high, wherever I go. Thank you. "  (And then of course I bawled like a baby for the rest of the lesson.) I want to #sharethegift with all of you- I want you each to know that I truly know that Jesus Christ lives; that Christmas is about the immense hope that his life and atoning sacrifice has given us. I know he knows me, as well as each one of you. I know he loves us. I also know that Heavenly Father gave us the perfect gift when he allowed Christ to come and suffer, atone, and die for each of us. Because of him I get to see my sweet Grandpa Wallace again, and I'll get to meet Grandpa Coffin and Grandpa Benson. Because of him I get an endless supply of 'do overs' when I make mistakes. I think that Heavenly Father tries extra hard encouraging us to hear what he's trying to teach us during this holiday season because our hearts are more sensitive to the spirit.  I know that Heavenly Father has given us so many chances to serve others- even if you think you don't want to- because he knows how much joy it will always give you. 

I hope each of you have a wonderful Christmas, and I hope you can find ways to share the first true gift of Christmas. :)  (P.S. check out the links! :) If you haven't seen these videos you need to.)

To my reason

Mister Jaden babe, 
Today has been a fun day. A hard day. I've been thinking cheesy thoughts about being a mom- as per usual- and I've realized something. Today you taught me that you're my reason. You're my reason that I smile at 3 AM when I have to sneak in and put a pacifier in someones wailing mouth.  You're my reason for procrastinating showers until late afternoon. You're my reason for trying harder to reach the potential Heavenly Father gave me.  You're the my reason for doing spastic dances and flopping on the floor. (Your belly laugh makes any rug burns sustained worth it. ;) )  You're my reason for laughing, for crying, for headaches, for sympathy, for sacrifice, for getting out of the house when I'm feeling too lazy.  Baby boy, I care so much about you. I thought I knew how much my mom and dad loved me before I had you; and I thought I knew how much Heavenly Father loved me before I had you. You are my reason for finding a closer relationship with my Father in Heaven, because now I understand a little bit better how he feels about me; what his gift of sending Christ to be my Savior and atone for my faults means.  Jaden babe, I love you more than life itself.  Let me tell you about today. This morning I woke up with a headache and some fun sciatic stuff going on. (The last time my lower half felt asleep I had an epidural in my spine.) I was grumpy, and hungry, and tired, and you were crying. I went to your room, and fed you some early morning breakfast and then we both went back to bed. An hour later I woke up and heard the sweetest little voice babbling in the next room. Through the crack of your door I could see a chubby little hand patting Puppy; I was torn between running in to hug the stuffing out of you, or staying in my hiding spot so I could smile at you telling Puppy stories. :) After a moment, you noticed me walking in toward your crib so onto your back you rolled. Your grin covered your whole face.  I absolutely love when your little arms wrap around my neck after I pick you up. I love you and those precious moments enough that it makes it easier when I watch you get angry, or when I have to scrub unmentionable things out of the carpet and our clothes.  Because I love you so much I don't mind spit and puke and squishing spiders and all those other things that I swore once upon a time that I could never handle.  Jaden, your Heavenly Father feels the same way about you. Only much better. He loves you so much that He is willing to let you get angry, or make mistakes. He loves you so much that he is just waiting to bless you with all the things he longs for you to have.  It has taken me some years and experience to figure out how merciful and loving our Father in Heaven is, no matter what we're doing. He gives us every possible chance to succeed, and he does it because he is our dad.  Sweet boy, if there is anything in the world I can give you, I hope it is the knowledge that you are loved beyond comprehension by earthly and heavenly parents. I hope you can learn how to have that wonderful and special relationship with your creator, so you can have confidence in yourself the way that He made you. I hope that you will never question that I have a testimony of who I am and whose I am; but most of all I hope that you do too.  On these days when being a mom feels like the biggest and scariest thing I've ever done, you remind me of these important truths. I'll always be your mama, but you will always be the special little spirit who is teaching me how to be a mom.  I love you bunches Super Dude.
Love Mom 

Our Conference Weekend

I absolutely loved this conference weekend. Two times a year, once in April and once in October, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints gathers for a General Conference where we get to hear talks prepared by various leaders of the church. We listen to uplifting messages, and music, and get direction from the Prophet. It's such a wonderful weekend, and I always feel lighter and more prepared to face life for the next 6 months. It's like a big spiritual re-charge. :)
Another part of conference weekend that I love is being able to spend so much time with family. This October, I got to start my own little family traditions for conference. Matt had to work during the Saturday morning session, but we made up for lost time when he came home. We took turns entertaining Jaden (since he's not too keen on sitting still haha) and made yummy food, went for walks between sessions, and visited with family.  Every year I try to have specific questions or thoughts in my heart as I go into Conference weekend, so I'm really listening and looking for answers. This year Matt and I had our weekly date night on Friday, and when we put Jaden to bed we went outside and laid on a blanket and just talked about our different thoughts and concerns as individuals, a couple, and as parents. We didn't necessarily have specific questions that we were thinking of together, but we did want to look for things to help us be on the same page in our parenting. I knew that would be something that we'd find lots of inspiration for during all the talks- but wow! This was such a wonderful experience to listen to each speaker address something that applied to my worries and my goals as a wife and mother. There were so many different words that touched my heart because it was like Heavenly Father had sent that talk just for me. They spoke on things I hadn't even really talked with Matt about. :) I'm grateful for the testimony I have that Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ know me personally, and understand everything I ever go through. They care about all the small, 'silly' things, and they guide me through the big, life-changing events in my life. I'm so happy we had the chance to spend time as our little family and watch General Conference together. :) It was such a fun weekend!

The Saturday morning session went a little something like this... :p Jaden is totally my kid, I started scratching his back and he flopped right down and held still for a few minutes. Which is basically a miracle. ;)

Matt really loves it when I make him
let me take pictures. Especially when I tell
him to 'act normal'. *roll eyes* haha. I
love this guy. 

I tried my hand at making up a recipe for pesto chicken pizza.
Can I just brag for a sec? It was AWESOME! My mom and
sister, Erin, made the pesto from basil my mom has grown.
Then I just did a wheat pizza crust, cooked the chicken in
a little of the pesto, and then put the remaining pesto with
a tiny bit of Alfredo sauce on the crust and topped it with the
chicken. If I would have thought ahead, I would have done
some roma tomatoes, green onions, and spinach as additional
toppings. :) Mmm. We're definitely going to have to do a
round two of this one.

Matt's new hair do. ;) 

He pulls himself up on EVERYTHING
now. He thinks he's ready to let go and
just stand. Haha, it doesn't work so well
just yet. But he thinks he's big!

This kid loves being on camera. (I think a little bit of his
great-grandpa Barton trickled down to him. ;) ) It's cute,
yes, but also makes me crazy. Every time he's doing something
hilarious that I want to catch, he gets distracted as soon as the
camera comes out and starts cheesing it up. :p Funny boy.

Wrestling with daddy.

I love this sleepy-eyed boy following me around the kitchen. :p
Every morning he has to help me get breakfast out. 

Sunday Morning, I decided we're starting the tradition of
making coffee cake for breakfast during conference weekend. SO
yummy! I'll post the recipe in a separate post.

Matt decided we're going to have a fort building tradition. We'll just call it pitching our tents around the temple to hear the
prophets' words. ;) 

I absolutely adore watching Matt be a dad. Look at the way Jaden looks at him! These boys love each other kind of a lot.

Love his little smile. :)

Between the Sunday sessions we took a little trip to the park. :) He didn't react much to the swings, but at least Matt and I thought it was fun!

The slide held a little more emotion for Jaden. :p Barely.

Our Easter Weekend :)

First of all, Happy Easter! We pretty much dropped the ball on getting Jaden anything fun or doing anything traditional as a new family for our first holiday. I'm going to chalk it up to having a 6 week old and traveling more than 400 miles with him. He won't remember anyway.... we could even make up stories about all the fun things we did for him on his very first Easter, but darn it, mom forgot to get out the camera again. ;)  Anyway. We did have a lot of fun over Easter weekend visiting our Northern family. Before I get into that (and do my typical photo dump) I wanted to share some of my feelings on Easter. 

Matthew 28:6 "He is not here: for he is risen..."

I watched this video a few days before the weekend, and it really has touched my heart and stayed with me. I still get teary every time I watch it. I've been having kind of a hard time with feeling super anxious all the time since having Jaden. I figured I was out of the woods on emotional things when I didn't get postpartum depression, but then this kicked in. I've dealt with anxiety before, but it hasn't been this bad in years, so I was having a hard time with the idea of driving so much and taking our baby around so many people all at once. It was a really rough afternoon when I finally decided to watch this video clip- I'd scrolled over it on facebook for a few days already- and I'm so happy I did. 

I remembered that my Savior, and brother, lived and died and felt everything for me. He loves me, and he understood exactly how I felt anxious, and does understand everything I ever struggle with or rejoice in. I remembered that his atonement isn't just for me to use when I make mistakes. It has enabling powers that can strengthen me so I'm able to get through anything life throws my way. I realized that I didn't need to obsess over the what ifs for Jaden, because the same atoning power will help him through everything he'll have to do in his life.  Because of him I can continue to grow, and learn, and improve in my marriage.  Because of him I can learn to love those around me more perfectly. Because of him I can become a better mother.  Because of him nothing is impossible. Because of him death isn't the end, and I will see all the people that I've loved and lost. Because of him I can find peace and borrow his forgiveness when I struggle to forgive. Because of him I can be my best. Because of him we have the brightest hope. Because of him we have everything. 
I testify that Jesus Christ is real; that he lived and died for each of us, and because of that we will all live again. I love my Savior, and I'm so thankful that in him I have a true friend who always loves me and is proud of my progress- regardless of how small it seems to me. I know he atoned for me, and that I can rely on the atonement in every single aspect of my life. :)  Isn't it so wonderful to have been given so much hope in life? I loved being able to spend Easter with our family that we love so much, and being able to put things into perspective because of the Gospel.

Now for our Easter adventures. :) We have such a sweet boy, he was an awesome little traveler! He was pretty wiped by the end of each day we were up there, but he was still so mild tempered. :) He's our Super Dude!  Friday Matt was able to leave early, so we headed out of town around 11 (an hour behind what we had planned on. I'm learning that when you have a schedule for how you want things to go with a little one, it never goes as planned. He's always hungry at the wrong times when I'm trying to get out of here for one reason or another. :p) We made it to about Nephi before we had to stop for a quick bottle and diaper change. (It's been so nice to have the pump that Claudia let me borrow!) We made it to Grandma Wilde's house in Sandy around 3ish? She just got back from her mission about a week ago, and she didn't think the Nebraska family was going to be able to come over for her homecoming. Well, little did she know, they were on their way to Utah. Matt and I were able to visit her and Grandma Coffin for a little while before Mike, Jen, and the kids got here. Grandma Wilde's face was priceless when she realized it was Kennedy standing in the doorway once they all got here. :)  Mallorie and Matt live in the cutest basement apartment under Dan and Heather now, and so we got to stay with them again! It was the perfect set up so that we could be around everyone, but we had our own space if we needed to get Jaden down for a nap or something.  Saturday we hung out at Dan and Heather's in Saratoga Springs, and colored eggs. Matt and I even got to take a nap that afternoon while Jaden slept before we went back to Sandy for dinner and visiting some more. Sunday morning we drove to Cottonwood Heights to visit Mike and Vicki and so Grandma Benson could finally meet Jaden. :) It was so nice that we were able to stop by and see everyone for at least a few minutes while we were up there. :)  Up until Sunday I was doing really great anxiety wise (thank you dad for your Priesthood blessing before we left), but I discovered that I'm really grateful we're in a young married ward now. There aren't nearly as many snotty, coughing, sneezing, drooling kids in young married wards. ;) I thought I was going to die. I'm turning into Monk. 

Luckily, we all survived. ;)  Grandma Wilde did such a great job on her talk, she's such a sweet lady and an awesome example of service and loving others. :)  After church we went to Steven and Laura's for the luncheon, and got to visit some more with everyone. :)  We didn't leave as early as we had planned (but I kind of was expecting that anyway) and so we didn't get home until almost 11. We had to stop again in Nephi to feed and change Jaden, but he did great for the rest of the drive!  It really was such a fun get away, and for as much as I think I'm going to have separation anxiety while passing my baby around, it always ends up being kind of nice to have a 'break'. I mean I still have to feed him every 2-ish hours, but I can shower and eat uninterrupted when we visit family because there's never a shortage of volunteers to hold him for me. ;) When we come home I kind of miss it at times. (Like when I really have to use the bathroom but he's in the middle of eating or being changed or something. :p) Next time we have a family get together, I promise not to be a pansy and actually take more pictures to share. :) (I always feel so awkward taking pictures, but good grief. What did we buy this camera for anyway??)

At Great Grandma Coffin's house. :) (Where she
"hugged the stuffins" out of her great grandson. :)

Meeting Grandpa Coffin 

And Grandma Coffin :)

And Aunt Kennedy

Great Grandma Wilde at Dan and Heather's

This is the view from Dan and Heather's back porch. Pretty
great, right? 

Jen getting her snuggles in :)

Aunt Morgan :)

Dan and Heather's oldest, Maddison. :)
She loved holding Jaden until he started
pooping his pants, haha. I don't blame her! ;)

 

Great Grandma Lola, and Grandma Vicki (Gallegos) at Mike and Vicki's

Grandma got some good smiles and expressions
from Jaden :)