To my reason

Mister Jaden babe, 
Today has been a fun day. A hard day. I've been thinking cheesy thoughts about being a mom- as per usual- and I've realized something. Today you taught me that you're my reason. You're my reason that I smile at 3 AM when I have to sneak in and put a pacifier in someones wailing mouth.  You're my reason for procrastinating showers until late afternoon. You're my reason for trying harder to reach the potential Heavenly Father gave me.  You're the my reason for doing spastic dances and flopping on the floor. (Your belly laugh makes any rug burns sustained worth it. ;) )  You're my reason for laughing, for crying, for headaches, for sympathy, for sacrifice, for getting out of the house when I'm feeling too lazy.  Baby boy, I care so much about you. I thought I knew how much my mom and dad loved me before I had you; and I thought I knew how much Heavenly Father loved me before I had you. You are my reason for finding a closer relationship with my Father in Heaven, because now I understand a little bit better how he feels about me; what his gift of sending Christ to be my Savior and atone for my faults means.  Jaden babe, I love you more than life itself.  Let me tell you about today. This morning I woke up with a headache and some fun sciatic stuff going on. (The last time my lower half felt asleep I had an epidural in my spine.) I was grumpy, and hungry, and tired, and you were crying. I went to your room, and fed you some early morning breakfast and then we both went back to bed. An hour later I woke up and heard the sweetest little voice babbling in the next room. Through the crack of your door I could see a chubby little hand patting Puppy; I was torn between running in to hug the stuffing out of you, or staying in my hiding spot so I could smile at you telling Puppy stories. :) After a moment, you noticed me walking in toward your crib so onto your back you rolled. Your grin covered your whole face.  I absolutely love when your little arms wrap around my neck after I pick you up. I love you and those precious moments enough that it makes it easier when I watch you get angry, or when I have to scrub unmentionable things out of the carpet and our clothes.  Because I love you so much I don't mind spit and puke and squishing spiders and all those other things that I swore once upon a time that I could never handle.  Jaden, your Heavenly Father feels the same way about you. Only much better. He loves you so much that He is willing to let you get angry, or make mistakes. He loves you so much that he is just waiting to bless you with all the things he longs for you to have.  It has taken me some years and experience to figure out how merciful and loving our Father in Heaven is, no matter what we're doing. He gives us every possible chance to succeed, and he does it because he is our dad.  Sweet boy, if there is anything in the world I can give you, I hope it is the knowledge that you are loved beyond comprehension by earthly and heavenly parents. I hope you can learn how to have that wonderful and special relationship with your creator, so you can have confidence in yourself the way that He made you. I hope that you will never question that I have a testimony of who I am and whose I am; but most of all I hope that you do too.  On these days when being a mom feels like the biggest and scariest thing I've ever done, you remind me of these important truths. I'll always be your mama, but you will always be the special little spirit who is teaching me how to be a mom.  I love you bunches Super Dude.
Love Mom 

Cupcake Signatures

Well hey there.

I’ve discovered that I have this blogging problem where I get massively motivated (usually in times of boredom… or eventfulness) and then I go for like eons without posting. I think I have an addicted personality or something. I’m always jumping from obsession to obsession or busy with another facet of my ADD.

Anyway (speaking of ADD) my blog is different! Again! Thanks to my cute friend, Carmina. :) I’m way too technologically impaired to do anything this great, so she offered to fix mine up all cutesy so I can join the club. :p And speaking of the makeover, I’m sure you’ve noticed the name change. (Again. Goodness, Blogger Anonymous, Adventure’s Out There… I  think it was A day in the life of Shannon once too.)  Maybe you’re not even curious. Maybe you didn’t even notice. Maybe my only readers are my grandma and my dad. (Thanks guys, you always make me feel so special ;) )

But. On the off chance that you’re dying of curiosity, I’m going to tell you the story behind it. (brace yourselves: it’s either oozing with cheese or it’s a cuteness attack. )

When Matt and I were still in that awkward, ‘really-attracted-but-too-bashful-to-really-go-for-it’ stage, we went on lots of walks. They were non committal, yet exciting and good for my hips.

Rewinding a little bit: my roommate Chelsi had talked (coerced) me into taking cupcakes to the handsome executive secretary boy in our ward, and after an hour of arguing with me… we doorbell ditched those delicious suckers. (Some courageous prowess I am, right?) In our ward conference following the drop off love confession, one of the speakers talked about a book called Divine Signatures by Gerald N. Lund. He wrote about Heavenly Father loving us enough that he ‘delights in blessing us’ and uses ‘divine signatures’ (personal, and meaningful experiences that give us just the answers we need when we need them,) and tender mercies to express his love to us. 

Ok. Fast forward to the moonlit sidewalk by the football field. Matt and I were arm in arm, talking about everything (as usual) and he brought up the cupcakes being a divine signature for him. I think I swooned a little. After I giggled and thought he was kidding. (not very nice of me, I know) As I look back, though, I realized that at the rate he and I were moving, we probably wouldn't have even gone on a single date if Chelsi hadn't dragged me to his door with those cupcakes. We were both too stinkin shy! (Which is actually kind of hilarious if you know either of us very well. I guess our stunning good looks intimidated each other.) 
So now, here we are! Married and loving life. All because of those cupcake divine signatures. : )

Warning: Squishy post. (And then other normal rambles. :p)

(WARNING. This post is illegally long and may take a while to get through. Sorry 'bout that.)

Ok. So I know, I know. My blog is probably like oozing with twitterpatedness and getting a little boring to keep reading about it, but I've had requests for the whole dating love story thing, so I decided to just write it once. :) (Because I'm a total lazy bum like that.)
I met Matt in January when I went back to Snow (which I totally wasn't planning on, since I lost my scholarship and was feelin pretty broke :p but then everything just kept falling into place at the VERY last minute for me to get there, so apparently Heavenly Father had plans. :) ) He was in my ward, so the first sunday I was there and scoping all the new scenery out I decided he was REALLY cute and I should date him. :p And after Sunday school he came up and asked me if I would say the closing prayer in sacrament. I'm sure I was drooling stupidly at that point, but he got my name and smiled and walked off and that was that for the next, oh... two months. Neither of us dared talk to the other! How silly is that? Especially looking back from where we are now. Oh well. :p He was totally known as 'Cute Matt' at my apartment for those two months though. I may or may not have ran into him a couple times on campus between January and March and I may or may not have all but killed myself trying to walk as fast as him so I'd still be ahead of him and he could check me out or come talk to me or something. :p And the time I saw him in the lobby of the library I very well might have gone out of my way to sit in a chair across the room from him and re organize my backpack, and then run to class. Late. :p
Then in March while I was at my cousins wedding I got this super frantic phone call from my roommate telling me I'd never guess who came over looking for me. :) And then the next day (my birthday) Matt showed up while I was half reading half sleeping on my front porch to ask me if I wanted to play Ultimate Frisbee with him. We all know that I'm a total klutz with athletics though, haha so I pulled the 'I have yoga in an hour' excuse. Which I did have, but let's be honest. I sluffed that class more than once. I can't remember if the cupcake fiasco was before that or just after, but Chelsey (my roommate whom I am indebted to forever now ;p) made cupcakes and decided I needed to take them over to Matt. There was at least an hour of her frustratedly trying to make me do it, and me being all freaked out and too shy and 'what if he thinks I'm a moron'-ish before we finally made a note (that was better than Chelsey's version, but still pretty obvious and potentially awkward) saying 'to matt and his roommates from Shannon and apartment 9' or something like that. See? Awkward. Right before we left we found out that the guys were at some priesthood meeting and Chelsey thought we should wait. However, me being so obnoxiously shy jumped on this chance to 'doorbell ditch' the cupcakes to an empty apartment so I wouldn't have to blush and stammer and all that other really impressive stuff.
A weekish later, he pulled strings (since he was the cute ward executive secretary) and came to my apartment for fast offerings. We pretty much NEVER answered the door at my apartment, we just yell 'come in', which he did. And there I am. Sitting there in HUGE sweats with my heaping plate of leftover re-fried beans and a massive burrito. Cute huh. So I'm dying, and he's standing there smiling, and then the next thing I know I'm saying yes to go for a Sunday drive with him in an hour. I scrambled to get ready and extra attractive to make up for the giant (impressive) plate of mexican food and man sweats, and then got changed again to go pick up conference tickets from our bishop (and ran into guess who in the office there) and then awkwardly walked out to my car with him walking behind us to his truck. Seriously, we were possibly the absolute most awkward couple ever. :p Truly. An hour flew by and I had redone my hair at least three times by the time Matt came back to pick me up, and we drove up Ephraim Canyon. Six hours later we had covered nearly every topic and only came back because he had to go home teaching. After that my roommate and I came up with this sneaky double date where we didn't actually tell the guys it was a double date. In our defense we did chicken out last minute and try to invite lots of other people (half heartedly anyway) who couldn't make it so it was still a sneaky double date of cookies and The Lion King. I don't think we actually watched more than ten minutes of it because we  talked the whole time. And after it was over. And until three o clock. I'm pretty sure it was that night that Matt accidentally called me the wrong name(because there was a girl in our ward with the last name Heaps.) He got this wide eye-d, "oh crap" look on his face, so I let him off easy with, "Well, I guess I could forgive you if you gave me ice cream or something really good like that." I promise I told him I was just kidding, and that people called me that all the time in this ward (lies) and he was just fine. Well, the next day as I'm on the phone with my sister telling her about Matt I heard a knock at the door. And my heart went into seizures. Because obviously every knock on the door from then on out would just have to be my Matt. Right? Well, the odds were in my favor (Hunger games anyone?) and my roommate came in freaking out to tell me I had a handsome visitor. So I hung up and went out, totally forgetting that I didn't even do makeup that morning (after a grand total of what. Three hours of sleep?) until I see Matt with his hands behind his back. He brought me ice cream to make up for calling me the wrong name. :p And not just any ice cream, but this dark chocolate, caramel Magnum ice cream. Hello. My name is your future wife, let's go to Vegas? Yes.
After that it was the snowball effect. Lots of walks around town, and late night talks and dinner dates, (all still definitely in the awkward stage of not touching but being as close as possible without touching) and somewhere in all that we had our first kiss at Palisade State park by the little lake under the stars. :) We both knew we really liked each other, and probably had already talked a little about that M word, but we both were kind of worried about the whole time issue. The school year was ending WAY too soon, and long distance stuff is never fun. Or easy. So that's when the really awkward, really forward conversation about "so are we dating or what?" came about. Me, blushing like a mad woman, used sarcasm to cope with feeling SUPER awkward. (What happened to my angsty teenaged ability to talk about exactly how I was feeling??) When he asked if I felt the same way after his profession of crush on me, I maybe retorted with "No, I just invite you over here all the time for fun." Really Shan? Not my brightest moment. So. We decided we were dating (finally. Since we'd been not dating for a little while by then) Finals week flew by with lots of 'quizzing dates' at the library, and basically every spare moment spent together. Our last day in Ephraim we helped each other pack up and clean our apartments, and took a drive up the mountain for a picnic lunch. The rest of the day was saying goodbyes to different friends, and waiting until we absolutely had to leave town. We planned out lots of summertime visits between work schedules, and then said goodbye. I drove out first, and while I was gassing up at the Maverick, he drove past and waved, which is when I maybe totally lost it. The first year when I moved back home I cried pretty much the whole way, but this time was different. I didn't think Matt would just disappear and so I only cried til Sterling. :p The summer went by so much faster than I thought it would! We saw each other a week after we left Snow, and then a week after that... and sometimes it'd be two weeks in between, (which felt like FOREVER mind you,) but we had lots of facetime dates and phone calls. If I wasn't at work or eating or working out I was talking to Matt. In June he came to hang out in Hatch for the weekend and was soo late (from the parental permission asking stuff) and that night we got engaged at the top of Red Canyon! (Here's the engagement story if you wanted that one in detail too :p) Wedding planning nonsense and dying at Bryce Canyon's Visitor Center because we were getting so close but it was taking forever went by (a little slower but still crazy fast) and before we knew it we were meeting up to pick up furniture from his Grandma's house the day before our wedding! Our sealing wasn't scheduled until 2, so the luncheon was before that at 11. Well, of course I didn't sleep at all the night before and of course I woke up at like five that morning. The luncheon was perfect (his family did an amazing job of decorating until midnight or so the night before) and then we headed off to the temple! The bridal room was so beautiful and the temple workers made me feel so special! It was so much fun to have my mom there to help me get ready. So surreal. And then BAM! We were married and taking a million pictures outside in the humid heat. And then BAM! The reception started and we smiled and hugged and thanked people, and cut a cake and danced some dances and then poof! The reception was over! It was such a beautiful day, and it's so funny to see how weird time is. It goes sooo fast for stuff like that!
(Click here for more Ephraim dating stories (and here, and here, and here, and here)  Here for Summer lovins (and here) , and Here for Engaged/Wedding posts. (and here and here, and here)... And this just for that video link.) But anywho. There it is! Then a honeymoon at a cute cabin and moving into our apartment the day before our open house in Cedar and fast forward a month  past group FHE's, cooking for a man adjustments and a sad lack of jobs in Cedar City to now. Next Wednesday marks two months, which is SO crazy considering a year ago I was resigned to accepting that 'my person out there for me' very well may be five cats. Life is good! Heavenly Father definitely knows what He's doing. When I look back over the last year, I can see how everything got was helping me learn and get to where I am now. (Meeting Matt included!) Ah. The sentiment.

So. There it is. Lots of squishy reminiscing for you. But I did promise some 'normal' rambles, and ramble I shall!
The little girl I baby sit is stinkin hilarious  When she's not angry with me for actually saying no to treats every five minutes during 'Clues Clues' and Carebears and other awesome little gems of movies. Yesterday while she was over here she kept asking what "Map" was doing. (which was, of course, homework.) So after a while I just started saying I didn't know, and then asked her the same question. Once after a little bit of thought she smiled and informed me that he was "doing hineywork!!" :p Oh heavens. Seriously, I'm excited to have kids, mainly for the entertainment value. (And all the other, better, reasons too. But not for like two years. Deal?)

Also, for the past two weeks I've had allergies/a cold. Maybe both. Probably both. Definitely both. Sunday Matt sent me home after Sacrament meeting. Later that evening our friends, The Bonds, (Yes. Like Bond. Kyle and Janessa Bond. Sweet, right?) came over with some french bread and chicken noodle soup. The next morning my cute visiting teaching partner had left another can of chicken noodle soup with a note, tied on with purple ribbon. Yes. Purple. Clearly I should get sick more often. It vastly improves our food storage! ;) The good news is I finally went to the doctor and he gave me some steroids to make me buff. Erm. Better. ;) And some antibiotics if my newly acquired muscles get too out of hand. But. Until then I should probably go be productive.

I'm a rockstar.

And the reasoning behind that mindset is because I totally worked the information desk AND the registers today. Yup. Rockstar status. Especially when you add in the part where I swore in a bunch of adorable junior rangers and actually enjoyed my day at work. (Not an easy task lately, I'm telling you. I've basically been completely worthless at work for the past week. Read as, "the past Summer". Being in love is a little time consuming, I've discovered. ;) But especially recently because I'm all antsy for the wedding and I'm here and planning stuff is there and Matt's three hours away and tourists smell weird, and co workers text too much. Anyway. Stepping off of soap box...)
Anywho. Matt's aunt Heather asked me to write down how I met Matt and our first date. We really are pretty much dorks, so I thought I'd just count that as my blog post for the day. ;p And I think we're cute and I'm in love with us and so I'm going to just throw all that onto the internet so I can show off like your average American bride. (Disgusting, isn't it? I've joined the ranks. ;p) Alright. Buckle up, folks.

I met Matt in our singles ward last January. It was my first Sunday back in Ephraim so I was, of course, scanning the room in Sunday school to see if I made it into a 'successful singles ward' or not. I decided the scenery was ok-ish, until I spotted this cute guy walking in with a cute grey suit and a cute yellow tie. (I think. Either way he was cute.) Chelsi, my roommate, told me his name and we promptly added a "cute" to the beginning of it. I guess that's when the nickname "Cute Matt" was born. (He's been known as that in my apartment/family ever since. :p) After Sunday school Chelsi and I were standing in the hallway, she was talking a mile a minute and I was feeling way beneath Matt's league, when he walked up to us. (I basically had a minor heart attack at this point. Total brains to mush moment.) He asked if I would say the closing prayer for Sacrament meeting, and then asked my name, wrote it down and walked off. Aaand that was that for like the next two months.  :) Neither of us dared talk to the other. Slash he was sick of dating, and I was determined I was going to finish school and go on a mission so I just wasn't dating. (Two whole months of time we missed out on! Oh well now, I guess, huh. :) ) Chelsi tried to 'dibs' him, and I pretty much decided she wasn't even going to get the chance. :p So I'm kind of really grateful he liked me back or that would have all been really awkward. 

The next time I really talked to Matt was at our ward talent show, when he did this CRAZY interpretive dance to "I Will Survive". He was running around the gym and jumping on tables, singing to different people... he paused in front of ours for a whole three seconds, and totally made eye contact. (Read in a 'twitterpated' voice :p) I happened to be on a date that night, but Matt says he tried to flirt with me anyway and asked what my talent was, to which I replied quickly that I was my talent. I realized how stupid that sounded and pointed out that I actually did my hair that day. Which sounded even more dumb so I just kinda walked off. Probably smiling stupidly. ;)  We were pretty much the most awkward flirting couple on the face of the planet I think. (Shoot! Maybe we still are! :p)

Matt will tell you differently, but I consider our first date the time that we made dinner at his apartment. He got all dressed up and I was in a Hollister t-shirt and jeans. (Expertly layered, however, and as Angie can attest, that is key in snaring your man. ;p) Awkward? Yes. We made chicken Alfredo (and by 'we' I mean he. :p) I was so nervous that I wasn't much help. Super impressive, right? I think maybe I stirred the noodles twice. After we ate dinner, Matt said something about how he thought we should go doorbell ditching. Seriously? Door bell ditching? We compromised. :p I decided we could do that if we wrote random nice/absurd notes or drew pictures to doorbell ditch so it wasn't the typical annoying deal that drives everyone crazy. So we colored for a while (we sound like such a mature couple, don't we. Haha) and wrote random compliments or super vague notes that made it sound like someone was in love with someone else and headed out the door. We walked around campus and left them on cars. After that date, most of our dates were going on walks. I miss that! We really had so much fun just walking around Ephraim and getting to know each other and jumping on random people's trampolines. And climbing trees. I love that side of Matt. Not everything has to be uptight or overly serious, we can do silly things and think they're entertaining. :p 

Welp. There it is. His version of our first date was when we went for a Sunday drive up Ephraim canyon and spilled our guts to each other. For six hours. (Ok, so maybe not guts. But life stories for sure.)  I was sooo mortified when he came in for fast offerings and I was just chilling there in my man sweats with a heaping plate of leftover refried beans from my birthday dinner with the fam in Richfield. No biggie. I just looked like the complete opposite of cute and feminine and dateable. Apparently he was desperate, because here we are! ;) But I didn't think it was a date because it wasn't like... date-ish? More like two cool people going on a cool drive on a Sunday afternoon. Cool, right? Anywho. Six hours later in my apartment my roommates were throwing out the marriage word, and I was probably grinning stupidly for the next three days. (Someday I'm going to make Matt write down his side of that 'date' because it's kind of hilarious from his point of view. I really am an awkward child.)

In other news, tomorrow is NHA's field day, and they bought us tickets to go see Les Miserables at the Shakespearean Festival. In case you're wondering, I'm obnoxiously excited! I love plays! I've missed going to them since I haven't been at Child Care for a while. (And by that, I mean working there. Although I suppose it'd be plausible for my parental units to drop me off there and pay people to keep track of me. Think as you wish. :p)
(And in other, other news... I'm getting married in 11 days!!!!! Holy garbage!)
*Cue the "Goin' to the chapel and we're gonna get maaaarried" song.* ;)

Holy Macarel!!

So. I have a story of pure happiness.
Yesterday I was workin along, minding my business, being a little peeved with grumpy people, and counting down until Monday night when I get to see Matt.
During my lunch break I was texting him (surprise, surprise right? ;) ) and he asked what time I had to go back out to the front desk.
"ten minutes-ish"
"Don't go out yet. You should go to the parking lot. :)"
Um... what? So I'm thinking, "Oh please, Shannon. It'd be way too good to be true for him to be standing there all cutesy." But the part of me that never listens to my cautious logic ran right down the stairs and out the door, only to see......
Matt! Standing there in the parking lot. All cutesy. Are you kidding me??? Best day ever!

I looked like this. Complete with melodramatic hand placing, and modelesque blowy hair. Yeah, it was that good. :p Seriously though, I'm so grateful I found Matt (cue squishy thought spillage) and that he kinda likes me too! I'm a lucky duck!